ok, it is bloody hot hotside. southern california in a furnace.
I'm really tired which is weird because I took a 2 hour nap already. what's up with that?

this Sunday is mom's day.
I have so many emotions about my motherhood. I am a real true blue I love you mom. I also am a guilt ridden, boy did I screw some things up mom. I can perseverate back and forth between these two worlds in a nanosecond.

life is like that I guess. two ends of the spectrum reaching out, tugging on eachother. one no matter and the other no matter. the world still turns round, my child still lives and has children of his own to love and screw up.

that's what counts, yes, he is alive and living. that's all that matters. I gave him life and now he takes it and moves on.